Say, ya wanna go smoke some crack?

I really wish this was a joke, but it's not, so here it goes.

As some of you know, I had the honor, the pleasure, the near heat stroke of going to Judas "m****r f*****g" Priest on Friday night. I couldn't help but be giddy. I was going to hang out with Neil all day, get breakfast, go shopping, SEE JUDAS PRIEST!!! So we go to the mall, it's great, we go see the Dark Knight, it was awesome, and finally we go get Rob (the roommate) and off we go, I'm really going to get there.

We arrive and of course it's a fully concrete venue and it's about 127 degrees in the sun and these two morons are sweating like stuck pigs. It was quite embarrassing as I am one who visibly sweats little. A little trick I picked up at prison, but wait, that's another day. Moving on, I suggest we go sit on the patio at my favorite BBQ place, not because I intend to eat, as I hate BBQ, but the have fans and shade and really clean bathrooms, and you have to have a concert ticket to get into the restaurant because it backs up to the venue. This is a golden idea I assure you.

We get a table. We get beer. I have my friends. I have no children. This is a great time. SO the table next to us has three people and then another couple show up and they suggest we push our table together with theirs and we can all sit together and drink beer and shoot the shit. So we do, and I am safely positioned between Neil and Rob because I don't like strangers. My mom drove home the point when I was a kid. So at some point during the time that Drowning Pool was playing, Rob vaporizes and I'm talking to Don, who looks a little like Uncle Fester,and is like 60, but it is the Priest concert, so really nothing should be surprising.

At that point he says "I can't hear you, come sit over here". I knew better, but I'm out of practice. So I go sit next to Don (his real name). I will not bore you with the entire conversation, but when he asked why my husband, who isn't real, but he didn't know that was in prison and I said drugs, he chose that opportunity to say, and I quote..."Hey, you wanna go get some crack and smoke it before Priest comes on?" As I said before, I'm out of practice, but anyone who knows me can about guess how this went for Don. Poorly, very poorly. About this time Rob finally comes back and I must have shot him a look from hell because he reaches over and grabs my arm and says "Baby, you know I don't like it when yo talk to other guys." Don left, just took his crack pipe and left.

Who knew that was a pick up line? I didn't, but I do know this, Judas Priest was fucking amazing!!!!!