Chantix: Purveyor of evil, killer of dreams

So as you all know I have intermittently tried to quit smoking. Nothing is quite as motivating as being broke. So with my last day of work quickly approaching and two boxes of Chantix in my bathroom I decided once again to quit because who can afford $6 a pack while looking for a job?

Let's talk about the Chantix for a second. More specifically let's talk about the other things it makes seem unnecessary.

For starters, I like beer and recently I have been enjoying it quite a bit and probably should cut back, but I feel justified at this point. However I have noticed that in the last week I end up feeling bloated and sick to my stomach after what should only be a warm up of drinking. Now this is not a bad thing, but if I'm not drinking my evening away, I'm going to have to find something else to entertain myself. Chantix 1 Karen 0 (I LIKE MY BEER)

Also, and let me assure you, this isn't for the weak of heart, it seems to be affecting my ability to, well for a lack of better words, take care of business. Look, I'm not having sex, so I am my own best friend. When you start interfering with my ability to attain non medicated joy, it's a problem. I might also mention here that the Chantix box says nothing about curing alcoholism and curbing masturbation. I looked. Twice. Chantix 2 Karen 0

Then, the other night, in my non-buzzed dreams, I went to a lot where the Home depot is only it was a giant lot, and people were swimming and 4-wheeling in it (it rained that day). I ran into some friends, and they invited me to a party. Now in the dream I had my older daughter with me and the younger one was at my neighbors. So we go to this party and I see my college boyfriend (who I haven't seen in 15 years) and he hands me a gift and professes his undying love for me in front of his best friend. The gift was a hand made retainer (for my teeth) and his best friend was Ron Weasly from the Harry Potter movies. Decision Chantix.

Shoot me.